Have you ever googled, “Am I am alcoholic?” I have.
Sometimes I would take one of those online tests hoping that I got a “no” answer so I could keep drinking. Sometimes I wished I had gotten a “yes” so maybe it would justify me being allowed to take a break from my wine every night. (How nuts is that?!)
Medically speaking, scientists have not discovered one gene that makes you an alcoholic (they have discovered genetic makeup that makes some more vulnerable than others) but the point is, you don’t take a blood test, and get the label. We label ourselves, or maybe a doctor gives you that label after you’ve told them you’re finding life unmanageable.
But it’s SUBJECTIVE.
Why use a subjective label that just makes us feel bad about ourselves?
The label alcoholic has, in my opinion, made us women remain trapped because we are so scared of this awful damning word that means something is wrong with us, that we end up justifying our behaviour (“But I make all the kids school pick-ups and football practices so I must not be an alcoholic, I must be totally fine, pass the champagne.”)
Instead of asking the question “am I an alcoholic?” I started asking myself different, better, questions:
“Would I have more energy if I didn’t have wine every night?”
“Would I sleep better without alcohol?
“Would I stop getting into so many stupid fights with my husband if I wasn’t buzzed all the time?”
“Would I have more patience with my children if I wasn’t hungover every weekend?”
The answers to all of those things were a resounding “YES!”
I don’t drink because I have a better life without it, and I’ll never call myself an alcoholic. That label doesn’t serve me at all. Give yourself permission to ditch the label, ask better questions, and see what happens.