How do I know if I’ll ever be able to moderate?

Here's how you know if moderation will work for you or not. It comes down to a straightforward question, have you given alcohol a job? 

I gave wine and tequila a lot of jobs. It was supposed to help me relax, help me sleep, make me more fun, make unbearable social gatherings more bearable, make hard days as a mother easier, make date nights more romantic... and the list goes on and on. 

The women that can take it or leave it, or just have one or know precisely where their off switch is located haven't given alcohol a job yet where they are searching for something in that glass of wine.

Once this shift has happened, moderation is not going to work anymore. 

If your heart has just sunk into your stomach and you feel like I've just delivered some awful news to you, then I 100% get it, and I relate. I too believed that moderation was the holy grail, the gold standard, the thing that if I could achieve all of my problems would be solved. 

Here's the great news. The moderation unicorns (if you're new here, now you know that's what I call them) aren't focused on moderating. They aren't consumed with how many glasses they should or shouldn't have. 

They're free. 

The second I found total freedom from alcohol I realised that it's that freedom that is the actual holy grail. It's that freedom that far surpasses any feeling that conquering moderation could ever bring. 

I don't want you to believe me right off the bat. I just want you to be open to giving it a try. Be open to the possibility that freedom, not moderation, might just be the better end goal. 

And it might just change your entire life, like it did mine.