LET’S TALK ABOUT THE RIPPLE EFFECT
The “ripple effect” is one of the coolest things that I have had the opportunity to experience when it comes to life is the sober and sober curious community. The ripple effect is when one woman starts to get curious about her drinking, and she expresses her curiosity to friends or family. This gives others the opportunity to take time to question their own drinking habits.
The reason this is so profound is that it takes courage by the person questioning their alcohol intake to voice this out-loud. It takes courage because to do so is not the norm. The norm is to do what society and big alcohol want us to do, to pick up a glass of wine when we want to relax, cope, celebrate, grieve, be romantic, or connect.
I was able to seriously question everything I knew to be true about drinking because of women like Holly Whitaker, Annie Grace and Laura McKowen. I then started to get really vocal about my sobriety on my own instagram and in turn I was able to create space for girlfriends (some of which I hadn’t heard from in over a decade!) to start to ask questions about whether alcohol was helping their day to day life, or hurting it. Their reactions spurred me on to get louder and prouder about my sobriety, and then these friends went on to help their own friends and family members make changes as well.
Now that I have stepped into the role of a sobriety coach, I can see the ripple effect continue with my own clients. Recently I have had a handful of women who have expressed concern about telling their own closest girlfriends that they have decided to take a break from alcohol. I have spent time coaching them to feel confident to say “I’m not drinking tonight”, and when that happens, you’ll never believe some of the incredible transformations that get set in motion. When one woman says “I feel better without alcohol, their own friends are able to then sit and ask thoughtful questions about this decision and are able to begin their own journey of discovering what role they want alcohol to play in their lives. It’s the ripple effect!!! One woman opens the door for the next!
One of my clients was due to meet up with one of her really good friends that she hadn’t seen for a long time. The two ladies, my client and her friend, were supposed to meet up in Santa Barbara for an afternoon of wine tasting. My client was so nervous about what she was going to tell her friend, who was flying in from Boston, about not wanting to actually spend the time they had carved out to catch-up, over bottles of wine.
The most magical thing happened. When my client expressed to her friend that she was on a break from wine, and feeling so much better without it, the girlfriend was thrilled. She too did not want to spend their precious time together drinking, and she felt total relief that they could change the plan. The spent their weekend together connecting, laughing and talking about how they were sick and tired of hangovers sabotaging their high-flying careers! (I still get goosebumps thinking about that message from my client- “You’ll never believe it Christy, she didn’t want to go wine tasting either!!!”)
You see, we spend so much time worried about what our girlfriends are going to think if we say we want to skip the drinks, but in reality – we have ZERO idea what is going on in their heads. This has been one of MANY cases of clients I have coached, who are worried about this, but end up being pleasantly surprised when their friends actually say “oh my gosh, I want to feel better too!”
I know I’ve said it before, but I will say it again- WHAT WE ARE DOING HERE IS NOT THE NORM. The norm is to go through life not thinking about what we are putting in our wine glass, while simultaneously agonising over what we eat, how much we exercise and, whether or not we putting on enough moisturising face serum.
The NORM is to not question whether or not your nightly wine habit is ruining your sleep or sabotaging the ability to experience true joy while watching your daughter’s dance recital.
The NORM is drink a glass of fermented, dehydrating, cancer-causing, grape juice when we want to celebrate or “because we deserve it.” The norm is to drink a liquid that pours lighter fluid on our anxiety when we feel anxious.
And the thing is, being part of the norm, isn’t our fault because we have been conditioned to believe that this is the best way forward. We’ve seen our parents drink to deal with stress, our girlfriends open a bottle of wine, because, well “mommy juice, social media screams “alcohol is sexy and glamorous,” TV/movies tell us that in order to be a kick-ass woman and have it all, you need to pour yourself a fish bowl of wine each evening.
Alcohol is EVERYWHERE, and it’s sold to us as the thing we need to be happier, prettier, a more relaxed parent, a better friend, a more romantic parter- you name it- the list goes on.
So when you take a beat and say “Hey – wait a minute- is this actually WORKING?! Is my nightly wine really helping me destress after a long day?” then you, my friend, are responsible – not only for making your own self FEEL BETTER (which is the ultimate goal here)- but also allowing other women who are watching to also do the same. You are opening the door for them to question this bulls*t (excuse my language but there are no better words for it).
So keep getting curious ladies. Ask questions about how wine is making you feel, for real though? Do it out loud if you can- not in a preachy/judgy sort of way- but in a way in which paves the way for your own girlfriends, sisters, and daughters to also question, “hey is this glass of wine really doing what I went to it for?”
That’s the ripple effect ladies, and you’ll never know the incredible impact you can have when you start asking these powerful questions.
