My Struggle With Wine Has Made Me Stronger

 Have you ever thought about your drinking journey as something that can wind up making you stronger in the long run? In March 2020 when I finally had hit my drinking limit, I felt broken. I felt weak. I felt small. I didn't know how exactly to get myself off the wine-merry-go-round. I was anxious that a life without booze would be boring and unfulfilling.

One morning I was reading my devotional and I found a familiar verse, 2 Corinthians 12:9 which reads "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness. Most gladly, therefore I will rather boast about my weakness, that the power of Chris may dwell in me." Since that moment I realised that even though I felt broken, I was actually incredibly strong because Jesus was right there with me in the struggle.

When we are at our most broken is when we have the potential to be the most strong, that's because of grace. I went from feeling my most weak, to my most strong because of His love for me. He showed up for me big time.

2 Corinthians 12:9 is my sobriety bible verse. I love that it talks about "boasting about our weaknesses" because that's what I feel like I get to do here with you. Tell you about how much I struggled with alcohol, but also to share with you that it's possible for you to overcome the struggle just like I did.

The bible is full of stories of people that felt broken, powerless and weak. But with Jesus' incredible love and grace, when they got close to Him, cried out to Him for help- He showed up. I've seen Him show up for me and guide me through these last two years. The more I leaned in to Him, the closer I felt to Him. And the more I cried out in prayer "Jesus, I just don't want to do this anymore" the louder I heard His voice comforting me, making me strong.

When I was going through life feeling like I had it all together, when I was showing off that fancy and glamorous life on instagram, I was disconnected from Jesus. But when I finally admitted to myself and to Him that I was weak, broken, and needed help, that is when I began to feel my most strong and my most powerful. I wouldn't be where I am today without Jesus's grace.

When have you felt Jesus near to you?