What if the thing you keep reaching for isn’t really the problem, but a symptom of something deeper God wants to heal?
In this powerful conversation, I sit down with pastor Alex Seeley, author of The Divine Counselor, to talk about what it actually looks like to invite the Holy Spirit into the places where we feel stuck.
Alex shares openly about her own 20-year struggle with an eating disorder and control, while deeply loving Jesus, and why salvation doesn’t mean our wounds, coping mechanisms, and struggles instantly disappear.
Together, we explore the roots beneath addiction, the difference between conviction and shame, and why surrender often requires us to trust God with the very thing we’re most afraid to release.
Alex explains why our addictions and coping mechanisms can become counterfeit sources of safety, validation, comfort, or control, and how the Holy Spirit lovingly reveals what is underneath them so true healing can begin.
We also dive into identity and the danger of allowing a struggle to become the way we define ourselves. You may have struggled with alcohol, anxiety, control, disordered eating, or another coping mechanism, but that struggle is not your identity. Your deepest identity is found in who God says you are.
And if you’ve ever wondered, Why won’t God just take away my desire to drink? Why can’t I hear the Holy Spirit? Why am I still struggling when I love Jesus?—this conversation is for you.
Alex offers practical encouragement for learning to recognize the voice of the Holy Spirit, including reading Scripture until something “clicks,” getting quiet, journaling, talking honestly with God, and beginning each day by simply acknowledging His presence.
Freedom may not happen overnight. But as Alex reminds us, consistent obedience over time can lead us into a life we could not yet see from where we started.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
- Why you can genuinely love Jesus and still struggle with alcohol, control, disordered eating, or other coping mechanisms.
- How addiction can be a symptom of deeper pain rather than the root problem itself.
- Why the things we reach for often provide something in the moment—comfort, numbness, validation, safety or control—and why that makes surrender difficult.
- How the Holy Spirit helps reveal the deeper wounds underneath our behaviors.
- Why God’s conviction is different from shame and condemnation.
- How a struggle can quietly become part of your identity—and how to begin replacing those labels with what God says about you.
- Why God may not simply remove a desire, but instead wants to heal and reorient the heart underneath it.
- Practical ways to begin recognizing the Holy Spirit’s voice.
Watch Here:
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Join Us for The Divine Counselor Book Club
I loved The Divine Counselor so much, and it has had such an impact on my own understanding of and relationship with the Holy Spirit, that we’re making it our next Love Life Sober Community Book Club selection.
Throughout September and October, we’ll meet to slowly work our way through the book together, with conversations led by our wonderful resident biblical scholar, Em Tyler.
If you’re already a member of the Love Life Sober Community, you’ll find everything you need inside the Book Club space.
Join the Love Life Sober Community at the link below, grab your copy of The Divine Counselor, and come read along with us. 🩷
