Why do we have such a deep desire to be fully known, yet such an enormous fear of being truly seen?
A couple of weeks ago, I had the privilege of gathering with women from all over the country to talk about faith, freedom from alcohol, and the fear underneath sharing who we truly are.
Because the truth is that we do want to be known by others. Not the polished version of ourselves that shows up at church on Sunday morning or in your Instagram high-light reel, but the real, broken, messy version. The gal who sometimes struggles, who has made mistakes, who loves Jesus but still finds herself doing things she wishes she didn’t do. We long for someone to see all of that and say, “Me too. I understand. And gues what?!?!? I love you anyway.” Yet so often, the fear of rejection keeps us hiding the very things that might connect us most deeply to one another.
This was the heart of our closing live podcast panel at ALIGNED, where I was joined by Sherry Hoppen, Caroline Beidler, MSW, Jonathon M. Seidl and Ericka Andersen, for a conversation about shame, sobriety, faith, and the healing power of being truly known.
When did we become so afraid of being vulnerable?
One of the questions from the audience really struck me. A woman asked why, when we look back at previous generations and the women in the Bible, community seemed to be so much more a part of everyday life.
When did we become so disconnected from one another? And why have so many of us turned to alcohol or other ways of numbing to fill that emptiness?
Somewhere along the way, we’ve become a society that doesn’t want to need anyone. We don’t want to bother people, ask for help, or admit that things aren’t quite as wonderful as they might appear on social media.
But here’s what I’ve learned, both through my own journey with alcohol and through the hundreds of women I’ve had the privilege of walking alongside: the hard parts of our stories are often the very things that connect us.
At the ALIGNED conference, women arrived with different backgrounds, different struggles, and different amounts of time alcohol-free. Some came knowing nobody. Yet as the stories began to unfold, something beautiful happened. Women recognized themselves in one another. The shame that had convinced them they were the only ones began to lose its grip, and in its place came connection, understanding, and those two incredibly powerful words: “Me too.”
Your story might be exactly what another woman needs
There are far too many women sitting in church pews every Sunday who love Jesus desperately but are secretly struggling with alcohol. Women who believe their stories are too messy, their drinking isn’t bad enough, or that everyone else has somehow figured out something they haven’t.
What if the very thing that woman needs is to hear your story?
Sharing our stories takes wisdom, discernment, and a willingness to follow the Holy Spirit’s prompting. Sometimes it begins with a quiet conversation over coffee, an honest answer to “How are you really doing?” or simply telling one trusted friend the truth.
And you certainly don’t need to have years of sobriety behind you or a perfectly polished testimony. God doesn’t need us to have everything figured out before He can use us. In fact, sometimes our willingness to be honest about the places we’re still growing is what gives another woman permission to do the same.
We were never meant to do this alone
One of the biggest reminders I took away from ALIGNED is that freedom from alcohol is about so much more than putting down the bottle. It’s about learning to live differently, to build genuine connections, to stop hiding behind shame, and to allow ourselves to be fully known and loved.
And ultimately, our testimonies aren’t about how strong or disciplined we’ve become. They’re about God’s faithfulness, His grace, and what He can do with a life surrendered to Him.
So whether you’re the woman who has already found freedom or the woman who is still quietly wondering if it’s possible, I hope this conversation encourages you. There is a community of women who understand, who have walked where you’re walking, and who would love nothing more than to come alongside you.
Watch Here:
Listen Here:
My beautiful friend, your story doesn’t have to be finished for God to use it. And you never know whose freedom might begin when you find the courage to share it.
I’d love to know in the comments, either here on substack or in the LLS Community.
Has someone else’s willingness to share their story ever given you the courage to share yours?
Continue Your Journey
If this conversation resonated with you, you may also enjoy:
